There’s a lot of Stuff swishing around in the Church of England right now. The focus at the moment may be on the composition of the latest groups which have been set up, comprised of people with different views being invited to discuss aspects of implementing Synod’s decisions; for various reasons, including making sure more LGBT people are among the members, public announcement of who is in these groups has been delayed but is now imminent [UPDATE: announced 8 May). But, once again, as someone involved in the Living in Love and Faith project for a very long time, I am reminded that we seem to have forgotten that the resources of this project exist. For example – and very relevant when one of the current questions is about the different ways that standalone services of blessing could happen – how bishops ‘have a particular role in determining the liturgies that can be used in the Church of England’ (LLF book, p.319). That is a useful reminder that, even though ‘Listening to the voice of God is a task for the whole Church’ (LLF book, p.329), it doesn’t really matter who is in which group, when for much of the way forward it’s the bishops who will have to decide.

All this reminds me of the myth of Pandora’s jar; the jar with ‘Do Not Open’ written on it. Pandora opened it, regardless, and out came all the evils of this world; diseases and hard work and suffering. Only Hope remained inside.

When we started the project of writing the resources for Living in Love and Faith, back in 2017, there was a conscious choice made not to offer ways forward at that stage. It was all about helping people to think through some of the issues around relationships, marriage and identity. It was an invitation to examine ourselves (LLF book, p.4) and to open a period of discernment (LLF book, p.424 – the final page) which would lead the Church of England into ‘making whatever decisions are needed for our common life regarding matters of identity, sexuality, relationships and marriage’ (LLF book, p.420). We were keeping the lid on.

Now, however, and particularly in the last year or so of Synod votes and yet more working groups, the lid has come off. Somehow LLF has become a gateway to all the questions which have been around for many years but which we’ve managed to ignore, or at least largely ignore. Perhaps that’s the logical consequence of moving away from the ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ culture in which the vicar lived with ‘a lodger’ and everyone looked the other way. But there’s far more going on now, and not just an acknowledgement that openness is better than secrecy.

These questions include not just the ‘presenting’ ones – should there be formal services to bless a couple in a same sex committed relationship, just as there are for straight couples who have had a civil service, and should couples where one or both are clergy be able to have civil marriages – but many, many more: back to the LLF book, what is the role of the bishop? And on it goes. What is the church? On what areas should there be consistency between dioceses? Should clergy be held to different standards from laity? Should the standards applied to clergy also be applied to lay people in leadership roles? What roles count as ‘leadership’? What is the relationship between the church and the world? Who makes decisions in the Church of England? How does the Church of England relate to the Anglican Communion? What does ‘blessing’ mean? What is marriage and is it the same as Holy Matrimony and does that matter? How can someone who thinks any relationship between two people of the same sex is a sin belong to a church where such relationships are honoured? And older questions are being revisited: can people who believe women priests are priests, and people who think that’s impossible, be in the same church? At what point does having ‘two integrities’ become schism?

In the ancient Greek myth, Pandora was explicitly told not to open that jar. But she did anyway, and there are obvious links with some readings of the Eve myth. As so often, it’s all the fault of women… In the analogy I am drawing here, a key difference is that we should have opened this jar properly before, because the questions which have come out are central to our faith and should not have been shut away. And Hope? Does that still remain in the jar? The more delays there are to the process, the more many of us start to lose hope.

And last week it struck me very powerfully how all those questions – everything that jumps out into the world once you take the lid off – are somehow to be carried by those who simply ask the church to bless their committed relationships. So I want to say: this is a heavy load to bear. And it’s being placed on just a few people, who in some cases are people who’ve already been badly damaged by others in the church. This never about ‘issues’; it’s about people.